The Veronese
by AelianaSagitta
Summary: College AU, set at the alma mater of the friend who requested it. The Montagues and Capulets are flag football teams, Paris is an annoying advisor's son, & the balcony is a dorm window that barely opens. (I wrote this when I was a college freshman myself, so please be gentle if you find the writing style here a little more juvenile than what you've seen in my other stories!)
1. Move-In Day

Late in August, a day anticipated by many young high school graduates dawned hot and sticky. Formerly abandoned dorms were swarming with students, most of those in Crawford Hall fresh faces. One of the hundreds of new freshmen timidly approached Room 266. The door was open. Inside she could hear a girl singing, "And stay away from Juuu-lie-e-et!" She peeked in.

"Is that Celine?" asked her mom. The girl hanging her filmy green closet curtain turned to face them with an inquisitive smile. "Hi, Kortney?"

"Yeah. You're Celine?"

"Yeah! It's so great to meet you." Celine held out her arms and gave Kortney a hug. Kortney's mom was right there to hug Celine as soon as they let go.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to NSR," Kortney apologized.

"Oh, no, I totally understand. Come in! They dropped off all your stuff already. I've been trying to move my stuff to make space for it."

Kortney looked around: at her new bed groaning beneath her essential possessions, the tiny half of the closet where she was supposed to put them all, the Clorox-scented sink over which she would brush her teeth for the next year, and the stained floor tiles and gritty carpet she would walk on.

"Do you need help unpacking?" asked her mom.

"I don't think so. We may need you to help bunk the beds, though."

"Do you want the beds bunked?" asked Celine, looking up from her suitcase.

"Won't we need to?"

"Actually, some girls down the hall have their room set up really cute without doing that. It's because they have the smaller-sized furniture like we do. The girls with bigger furniture have to bunk or loft, but I know how we can arrange our room and still have lots of space."

Kortney's mom stayed to help tug beds and desks around until the room was arranged to Celine's satisfaction. After one more motherly goodbye hug, the girls were alone. Celine jumped up on her bed. "Wow, this is so exciting! I think I need a break. Do you want some Pringles?"

Kortney looked at the can. They were low-fat. "No thanks."

Celine munched away as she slid her thumb around on her smartphone. Kortney opened her suitcase and began laying out clothes to hang up. Celine's half of the closet space was bulging, and things were hanging out of her dresser drawers. Kortney had just enough to fill her closet and maybe her nightstand. The flatscreen TV, mini fridge, and Wii were all Celine's, whereas Kortney had felt tech-savvy just for bringing the microwave and (rather cheap) iPod speaker. She wondered how soon Celine would be trading her in for an equally well-off and flashy roommate.

With most of her things arranged, Kortney decided to take a break herself and reached for her wallet to get a VitaminWater from the vending machines downstairs. She glimpsed a pipe-covered brick wall out the window.

"Huh." She leaned over Celine's bed for a better view. "What's that building?"

"That's the freshmen boys' dorm."

Kortney stretched her neck as far as she could in both directions without banging into the glass. Finally she got the bright idea to open the window. The heat was immediately oppressive, but the air was stirring enough to make her position pleasant. She saw that her room was at the end of the wing. There was a boys' first-floor window right across from her second-story one. A cluster of girls passed by in the hall, chattering merrily. Kortney waited until they were gone before she went for her drink.

* * *

The introductory programs passed in a slow blur. Kortney was impatient for all of the mixers to be over so she could be spared the trial of socializing, but Celine shone at such gatherings. She already knew most of the girls on their floor and was planning a night out with them. She was kind to Kortney, but they both knew they would never be spending their weekends together.

Then there was an unexpected bright spot in the hall dinner: the girl across from Kortney. Her name was Noelle. They hit it off right away. Noelle introduced Kortney to her roommate Tiffany, and Kortney thought she would probably be more at home in their room than in her own (especially now that Celine kept inviting gaggles of cool girls over).

That night their group played a silly charades game in which each person had to act out his major while the others tried to guess it. The two Undecided majors had it easy. They shrugged. Kortney pointed to an imaginary blackboard behind her, pretended to read from a book, and stopped to call on someone in the distance.

"Education," said a boy. Kortney nodded.

"Do you know your emphasis?" asked a leader.

"Yeah, it's—"

"Don't tell us! You have to act that out too."

Kortney held up her hands like she was reading a book.

"Reading."

"Bible."

"It's like reading," Kortney offered.

"English," said a girl.

"Yes."

"Your turn," the leader told the girl. She got up and held her hands like Kortney had done.

"English education," said Kortney.

"Just English." The girl sat back down by her. "What's your name?"

"Kortney."

"I'm Rayne. We'll probably have the same professors."

A psych major got up and started trying to act. Kortney looked around. In the group next to theirs, a guy was busy making athletic gyrations.

"Sports!" yelled his group members.

He flipped his hand to say "sort of" and made more exaggerated movements with his joints.

"Anatomy," Kortney thought.

"Biology!"

"Close enough," he said to the person who guessed. "Kinesiology."

"Do you want to be a personal trainer, or a coach, or a gym teacher, or what?" asked his leader's perky assistant.

"Coach, probably."

"What do you want to coach?"

"Soccer."

"Do you play?"

"Yep."

"Any other sports?"

"No, but I'm in the drumline."

"Ooo, then you'll be in Tigerblast! That's my favorite part of Tunes."

"Yeah. We've already started practicing."

"Y'all, you _have_ to go to Tiger Tunes. Get your tickets as fast as you can, cause they go quick," advised the girl. "And don't go on Thursday night."

"Oh, no," agreed the leader. He pointed to another kid. "Next. Show us your acting."

After bidding Rayne good night, Kortney went to bed more comforted than she had been since she arrived. There were three new numbers in her cell phone, all belonging to potential friends, and registration was soon. Only four more days until classes started.


	2. Family Dinner

She was scrubbing the mold out of the shower the next day when Celine popped into the bathroom. "Kortney! They have sign-ups for intramural flag football! It's 15 dollars. You should do it."

She snorted and kept scrubbing. "I don't have an athletic bone in my body."

"Oh, but everyone does, a little bit."

"Not me. I used to dance, but I'm no athlete."

"It's not about being athletic. It's just for fun. I wouldn't be signing up otherwise. You should do it with me." Celine went into an unreasonably cute pout.

"I don't know anything about flag football."

"Me neither, but I'm sure they'll teach us. It's just like regular football, except we're only playing girls, so we shouldn't get hurt too bad."

"I wouldn't bank on that." Kortney stood reluctantly and balled up the Clorox wipe. "Where's the sign-up sheet?"

"They're taking it down the hall right now, come on!"

Their team name was the Wild Wild West, since all the girls were from Crawford West second floor. The t-shirts, when they came in, were pretty cool. There was a cowboy hat and lasso and a slogan in loopy letters that said, "This field ain't big enough fer the both of us!" Kortney stood looking at hers draped over her arm and wondered how she had been persuaded to spend 15 dollars on it — not to mention the approaching athletic humiliation. The only thing she _had_ made a point of signing up for on registration day was Freshman Family Groups. That would be a calm, non-sports way of making friends whom she would see regularly.

"Are you excited about your classes?" asked Tiffany as they chilled out in her room that night.

"I don't know. I don't know who my professors are or where the classrooms are or anything. I don't even know my advisor." Kortney's head dropped. "We set up my schedule over the phone."

"It's okay," Noelle reassured her. "It's not like any of us have done this before either."

"If you want, we can go roaming over the campus tomorrow and find all of our classrooms ahead of time," offered Noelle's suitemate Hayley Anne. "I've been wanting to do that myself."

"Sounds cool to me," Kortney said. She got Hayley Anne's phone number and met her exploring buddies at the campus Chick-fil-A the next morning. The exploration did much to settle Kortney's nerves, although she didn't know it. She was too thrilled to be in the company of such friends as she had found to remember what else she might have felt before.

* * *

FFG assignments were that night. She and Celine headed up to the student center bridge together. Celine, oddly enough, seemed as nervous as Kortney was.

"What do you have to be scared of?" Kortney reasoned with her. "Look at you. You're the belle of the ball. As usual, that is."

Celine was definitely in character. Her white, short-sleeved leather jacket gleamed over her sparsely sequined top. Her earrings, her shoes, and the glitter on her jeans all matched. A tiny breeze blew through the sultry orange evening, lifting Celine's loose blonde curls off her shoulders and sticking a few hairs in her lip gloss.

"Thanks," she told Kortney, sheepishly brushing the strands away from her mouth. "I'm just wondering if someone I know will be in our group."

"Who?"

"Oh," with a sly sideways glance, "no one really."

"Oh. That kind of no one."

Kortney reached for her short auburn ponytail, unsure if she should leave it up or let it swing free and possibly get her neck sweaty. She didn't have Celine's anti-sweat magic. The inside of the student center was stuffy; she decided to leave her hair pulled back. At least she had been fashion-savvy enough to attempt to tease up a small lift at the back of her head, above the ponytail.

The girl with the sign-in sheet found Kortney's name first and pointed her to a guy wearing cargo shorts and standing on a table. Kortney slipped up and stood near him, shyly smiling at her few new siblings already clustered around.

"Are you my daughter?" The guy pointed straight down at her.

"Yeah, I think so."

He jumped down to shake her hand. "I'm Nathaniel. This is your sister Leigh, your brother David, your brother Steven —"

"I'm Steven," said the last guy.

"Oh, sorry, your brother Steven, and — okay, dude, what was your name again?" Nathaniel asked the guy mistakenly identified as Steven.

"Nishimo," he answered, looking completely lost.

"Nishimo. I will remember that. I promise." Nathaniel was off in a second to welcome his newest daughter, Celine. "The person I was talking about is in someone else's group," she muttered as Nathaniel introduced everyone again.

"Kids, I'm sorry I don't know where your mom is. She said she'd be here before they served the pizza, which will be in … 8 minutes."

"If she doesn't show up, do we get a new mom?" asked Steven.

"Maybe. First I have to go through the divorce, pay my legal fees (and probably hers too), spend 3 months crying in my room, start dating again, make sure you all like my new girlfriend, pay for the wedding, and read all the psychology books I can find to keep our family from falling apart when you start fighting with her."

"You forgot working out our visitation schedule with our first mom," said Kortney.

Nathaniel stuck out his chin and shook his head. "An absentee mom shouldn't get any visitation rights. I'll fight to keep you kids with me."

To take up time, Kortney perused the ground and played a little game with herself. Every time she saw someone new, she asked herself what had been the first thing she noticed about that person. With Celine, it had been her flawless makeup and white teeth. It had been Rayne's perpetual smirk, Noelle's straight flaxen hair and calm eyes, Tiffany's puppylike tilt of her head as she talked, and that kinesiology guy's messy hair. It had been Nathaniel's off-white cargo shorts from a distance, and his comically crooked hawk nose up close. There was not much remarkable about her new siblings. David had a long face … and there were Nishimo's obviously Asian features. That was something Kortney hadn't seen every day in rural Wisconsin.

"Wife! You're here!" yelled Nathaniel.

"Dad was gonna divorce you if you didn't show up for dinner," joked Leigh.

Wheelchair, thought Kortney. That was unquestionably the first thing she noticed about her new mom. It was a motorized chair. The girl drove it with a little keypad at the end of her armrest.

"Kids, this is your mother, Shara. This is Celine, Kortney, David," etc.

Shara lifted her hand. "Hi. Yes, I'm in a wheelchair. I had a flag football accident freshman year."

Celine and Kortney looked at each other.

"We totally signed up for flag football," Celine told her. "Should we drop out?"

"Well, I was playing against some boys, which was a stupid decision. As long as you stay on the field with girls, you should be fine."

Nathaniel and Shara had everyone sit and list their names, hometowns, and majors, starting with themselves. When newcomers straggled over, they were welcomed with gusto.

"So, I was thinking we need a family outing to get to know each other," Nathaniel said, looking at Shara. "How do you kids feel about bowling?"

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. That was okay with them. While her new upperclassman parents tried to sort out what would be the best time for everyone to meet, where was the nearest bowling alley, and who would drive everyone there, Kortney went back to looking around. Celine was sneaking glances at someone in a group across from them. Whoever she was looking at never looked back. The organizers sounded the call to pizza, and it was several minutes before the group was again in a position to talk.

"So I think we'll put off the bowling trip until everyone's more comfortable with their schedules. In the meantime, we can have family dinners. Most other families do theirs in the caf, but we're gonna be cool and go to Chick. Is that cool with everybody?"

More acquiescent shrugs.

"Okay, so we'll say 6 on Thursdays. Is everyone free then?"

They all thought so.

"Sweet. And if you run out of money, don't worry about it. Your mom never goes to Chick, so she'll probably be paying for all of us at the end of the semester."

Shara smiled a little, nodding. "It's true. I'm a caf wimp."

A guy with a huge scar up the back of his shin walked past Kortney on his way to the group that Celine had been spying out. Shara glanced up and saw him. Her face went dark.

"I'm sorry, you guys, but I really have to go," she said hurriedly. "It was nice to meet all of you. See you at Chick on Thursday. Enjoy your first day of classes."

She whizzed off through the crowd, finding the widest paths she could. People moved over to let her by when they heard her wheelchair approaching.

"O-kay then," said Nathaniel.

"Why'd she leave?" asked a new sister, Elise.

"I think I know," he murmured, looking around. He saw the guy with the scar sitting at the head of his group. "Yeah, I do." Scar Guy had seen Shara flee and was now trying to pretend that he hadn't.

"She can't stand that guy over there."

"Which one?"

"The one with the Mountain Dew shirt and the black buzz cut. They had a fight freshman year and haven't talked to each other since." He pointed at them. "This is why you don't date while you're freshmen, kids."

"He was her boyfriend?" asked Celine.

Nathaniel looked at her from under his lowered eyebrows. "No, I just made a totally unrelated comment about dating for no reason connected with them. Anyway, that guy, Seth, is thinking about transferring out next semester, so maybe you'll see your mom in a better mood after that."

Groups broke up and drifted apart as the pizza boxes emptied and the sun set. Kortney and Celine's family parted somberly, with no guarantee of seeing each other before Thursday evening. Kortney was excited to see if the group would become closer-knit over the next months. She also wondered who Celine had been staring at.

"Flag football practice starts tomorrow night," Celine reminded Kortney as they turned their lights off.

"Yay," Kortney muttered. Classes the next morning were what she was really looking forward to.


	3. An Entirely Acceptable First Day

Kortney got ready at record speed and jogged to the caf for breakfast, already starting to feel like an old hand on campus as she dumped all her dishes into the appropriate slots. She didn't feel so bad for having eaten alone when she noticed that almost everyone else had, too.

Her first class was Comp I. She packed all of her books carefully in her backpack and trekked over to Lile. The professor nearly made Kortney giggle out loud; he was the most eccentric, high-pitched little man she had ever seen. Most of the class was already rolling its eyes behind his back, but she liked him already. He seemed to really care about his material, which she appreciated in any teacher. He assigned a partner exercise as a bit of a grammar-skills diagnostic and an icebreaker rolled into one. Kortney and the girl next to her shrugged their way into partnering together.

"I'm Kortney," Kortney whispered.

"I'm Mari."

"Nice to meet you. So, what's the first adjective that the noun _carpet_ reminds you of?"

Mari was smart. They finished their exercise first in the class and used the leisure time to talk. Mari had seen Kortney in the caf at breakfast and wondered where she got her pretty shoes. Kortney told her they were hand-me-downs and inquired if Mari were Japanese. Almost; she was half Japanese. She had spent some time with the international students but hadn't made many American friends yet.

"Do you know Nishimo?" asked Kortney.

"Yeah, how do you know him?"

"He's in my Freshman Family Group."

"Oh, Shara's your mom."

"Yeah."

"She helps out in the Language Lab."

"Right. She said her major was Chinese."

"Yes. I'm in Seth and Alayna's group. When Shara found out, she wasn't very nice to me."

"Is that the Seth that she had a fight with a long time ago?"

"Yeah. I didn't know that, so I asked one of the other helpers if I —"

"All right, has everyone finished?" asked the professor. "Great. I'm sorry, what was your name again, young lady?"

"Kortney."

"Kortney, you and your partner seem to have finished long before anyone else, so would you mind reading us your adjectives?"

Kortney did, remembering to offer the paper politely to Mari (who politely declined) before she plowed ahead. She was so preoccupied with what Mari had been about to tell her that she mispronounced the word _fast_ and felt like an idiot. The professor then took a rabbit trail to observe how nearly natural it was that she would say the word _fast_ to rhyme with the word _haste_ , since they had such similar connotations. _Thank you,_ Kortney thought. _I don't know if I like you very much anymore._

As soon as he said "See you on Friday," Kortney swept her things into her arms and shot up right behind Mari's ear.

"I'm about to bust a seam. What happened in Language Lab?" she muttered.

Mari laughed. "Well, I thought Shara was offended, so I asked Rene if I had upset Shara, and she said Shara just had a vendetta against people associated with Seth. She also said that Shara has a way of making everyone who knows her really bitter against Seth and his friends, so much so that they won't even speak to them."

"Yikes. Does Seth do the same thing?"

"No, I think he just tells his friends not to bother talking to her friends because they won't listen, or won't understand, or something. But some people really get their feelings hurt anyway, and they start being rude back to Shara's friends."

"Wow. It's like a gang war."

"West Side Story," Mari commented.

"Romeo and Juliet," Kortney rambled.

"Hatfield and McCoy."

"I think we're too young to know about that."

Mari laughed. "Where's your next class?"

"McClellan."

"Oh, you'd better run."

"Yeah. If you want, I can look for you at breakfast before Comp on Friday."

"Sure, I'd like that."

"See you then!"

* * *

Since Hayley Anne and Tiffany swung by her room on their way to dinner, she gladly went along. She was a little apprehensive about flag football practice that night and told them so.

"We'll teach you. We can have a pre-practice in our room," said Tiffany.

"I don't think Kristeen would like that."

"Really, there's nothing to it. I used to play it with my brothers all the time. And since you're playing with girls, you'll have it even easier."

"How come you aren't on the team then?" Tiffany asked Hayley Anne.

"It would cut into my work study job."

Someone walked past, and Kortney looked up.

"Where do you work?" asked Tiffany.

It was Mari. She was looking around.

"In the light booth in the auditorium."

"Oh, fun. Kortney, who are you waving at?"

"Mari. She's in my Comp I class."

Mari approached with a smile. "Hi, Kortney."

"Who are you looking for?"

"I was seeing if any IC kids are here, but it may be too early." She lowered her tray. "May I sit?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. I'm gonna go get a drink."

"Is she Asian?" Hayley Anne asked when Mari was out of earshot.

"Half Asian."

"Huh. I thought biracial kids were supposed to be pretty."

Tiffany gave her a barely reproving look.

"What?"

"I don't disagree, but you still shouldn't say that."

"I think you guys are both being ridiculous," chided Kortney.

"Fine, we'll leave." Hayley Anne stood halfway up, and Tiffany scooted her chair out.

Kortney cocked her head and lowered her eyelids at them.

Hayley Anne laughed. "We're just kidding. We'll be nice."

"Were you about to leave?" asked Mari as she came back and set her drink down.

"Oh no. We were just giving Kortney a hard time."

"Oh, don't do that. She's nice."

Hayley Anne tried to snort and accidentally spit out an ice cube. Tiffany snickered. "I'm Tiffany," she told Mari, "and our ice-puking sassypants is Hayley Anne."

"Ice to meet you," Mari said.

That was just the beginning of a conversation that made Kortney laugh so hard, she thought all the nacho cheese she had ingested was one gasp away from flying back up the hatch. They were still wiping their eyes with their napkins when they parted company.

"She's pretty funny," said Hayley Anne. "You can show her the way to our lair if you want to."

"I may."

"Well, thanks for coming to dinner with us," said Tiffany as she turned toward the dish disposal. "Good luck at your practice."

"Thanks for coming to get me," Kortney called back.

* * *

She scurried back to her room to change into her team shirt and some basketball shorts, and lay down for a bit to make sure all the cheese was digested before she got to the intramural fields and started running around. Celine burst in like a whirlwind, an enraged look on her face.

"He said no!" she fumed.

Kortney moaned and took out her earphones. "Who?"

"Logan. I asked him to Barn Bash and he said no, he was planning on going with someone else."

"Who's Logan?"

"He's in the Freshman Family Group that sat across from ours last night. I was looking at him because I wanted to ask him out but I wasn't sure yet. Then I found out he _hadn't_ been asked yet, but he said no to me because he wanted _Elise_ to ask him!"

"Elise who?"

"Our Freshman Family sister! Let me rephrase that. _Your_ Freshman Family sister."

"Are you going to quit our group because of a boy?"

"Well … maybe not. But I _am_ ticked off."

"Yeah, I guess I would be too."

Having donned her flag football attire during this consortium, Celine sat on her desk chair to pull on her tennis shoes.

"Where did you get those shorts?" asked Kortney, sitting up.

"The bookstore. They have pink and black and these purple ones."

"How much are they?"

"30." Celine brushed her loose curls back into a ponytail. "They're Nike. Very nice."

Kortney reached for her keys and her water bottle. Celine grabbed hers as well, and they headed wordlessly for the door.

"Do you wanna walk?" Celine asked quietly.

"Sure, we've got time." Kortney paused. "So did she actually ask him?"

"Yes."

"Sorry."

Celine lifted her compressed lips in an attempt to smile. They clumped down the stairs and pushed their way out of the stairwell door.

"No wonder Shara hates Seth. He's teaching his sons to be jerks to her daughters."

"Do you think Logan was being a jerk to Elise too?"

"No, but she's his RA's little sister. That's probably why he likes her."

"Oh, I didn't know that. Maybe that's why Nathaniel said freshmen shouldn't date."

"This isn't a date, it's TWIRP!" Celine complained. "Very different."

"Did you ask him to any other night?"

"No way. There are better guys here."

"In other words, the ones who aren't in Seth's family," laughed Kortney.

They made it to the intramural fields as several other girls were gathering in separate knots.

"Which one's our team?"

Celine bit her lip and looked around. "There. I see Kristeen. She's our captain."

"Has she played before?"

"Yeah, every year."

Kortney felt better already. She knew Kristeen and was sure she would have compassion on those with absolutely no athletic experience or talent. They split into temporary teams within their own team and were given flags with which to adorn their waists. The playing field's boundaries were already marked with orange cones. To give the girls some background, Kristeen ran through the list of most common fouls and plays; next they played an abbreviated game. Kortney was even worse than she expected to be. Celine managed to avoid such humiliation by only _pretending_ to play.

"Ok, girls," panted Kristeen. "Some of you may be planning to go to church, so we'll just do ten crunches with a partner and then you can go."

There was an uneven number of players. Kortney did her crunches with Kristeen. Maybe the team would open up to her as they started winning games together, she reasoned.


	4. Plans Begin to Form

Wellness and Life Science passed uneventfully the next day. Family dinner was still at Chick-fil-A, as confirmed by text that afternoon. She waited in her room for Celine until 5:53 so they could walk together, but finally she realized that Celine might be avoiding Elise and not want to see her at an FFG function. Either that, or she would meet Kortney there. No dice. Neither Celine nor Elise showed their faces. Kortney couldn't help but smirk at the irony of their success at avoiding each other, if that was what they were doing. Boys made normally rational people act so senseless. Nishimo didn't show up either. She felt sorry for the poor guy; not many people around seemed to have patience for those reared in non-American culture.

"Your mom and I have been talking," Nathaniel said around a mouthful of chicken sandwich, "and we thought that for our family outing—"

"Don't talk with food in your mouth, husband," Shara admonished.

"Yes ma'am. How many of you guys like Lifehouse?"

Kortney perked up. A couple of people nodded, so she did too.

"Ah, come on, is that it?"

Shrugging ensued.

"Ok, what if we went to a Lifehouse concert for really cheap in Dallas, as a family road trip?"

Livelier shrugs, with a few lifted eyebrows this time.

"All right. It's time to pull out the big guns." He leaned forward. "Who likes Coldplay?"

An explosion of "Dude, yes!"

"I thought that would get your attention. Ok, so, they will be playing in Dallas on the same night as Lifehouse. I'm going to the Lifehouse concert cause I'm weird like that, but, whoever wants to ride with me can, and I will take you guys to the Coldplay concert and pick you up after both concerts are over, and then we will all go out to eat someplace crazy and drive back here all stoked up on caffeine. Who thinks that sounds like fun?"

Enthusiastic nods.

"Is anyone still going to Lifehouse with me?"

Kortney lifted an unsure hand.

"I will," said David.

"Me too," said Kylie.

"You have taste. I like it. Not that there's anything wrong with Coldplay," he said, holding out his hand to pacify the wounded Chris Martin fans. "They're a great band. I just can't get you guys discount tickets to their show."

A chorus of understanding replies to the effect of "We don't care."

He put his palms together. "All right. Now, the two concerts in question are in a month and a half. Why such early notice, you ask? The discount cost will only last until the end of this week, and then my connection goes bam." (He plunged his thumb downward.) "I need to know for sure who's going, and I need you to pay me sometime between now and the day we leave. I'll go ahead and buy your tickets, but if you can't pay me by then, you ain't goin'. Are you three sure you wanna go?"

"What date is it?" inquired Kortney.

"October 14. It's a Thursday night."

Phones sprouted from pockets.

"Everyone put it in your phones. That's a really good idea. And add a reminder: Pay Nathaniel."

"How much is it?"

"Lifehouse is 8. Coldplay is 65 for the cheap seats. I think you see why I have chosen Lifehouse."

"I can get you your 8 next week."

"Sweet. How about you two, are you going?"

"I think so," David said. "Go ahead and order me a ticket, and if I can't go, I'll pay you anyway and you can give it to a poor kid outside."

Kylie added another "Me too."

"And you guys tell anyone else who wants to go. I can take 5 not counting myself, and Shara's got a van, so you can take what? 16?"

"10," she corrected. "We should have everybody covered."

Leigh spoke up from a cluster at one end of the group. "We were thinking about taking our own car anyway and maybe staying the night."

"Don't you have class the next day?"

"Psssh." She flipped her hand at him.

"As your father, I cannot sanction such irresponsible behavior."

Leigh's group looked up at him with cow's eyes.

"Just don't tell your professors I had anything to do with this excursion, and I'll let you off the hook. I don't want to get in trouble with CAB for being a bad example. Well, sweet, man. I'll see you kiddie-os later." He stood, swung his backpack onto his shoulder, and pointed at them. "Refuge. You better be at Refuge. It's tonight at 9 o'clock, so you really don't have an excuse not to be there. At least not until they move it to Second Baptist. Ciao."

"I oughta get going too," said Kylie.

"Yeah." The group broke up, carrying most of their trash with them. Kortney ambled outside, wondering what to do with the rest of her evening until Refuge. She decided on visiting Kristeen. Kristeen's roommate Rashaunna answered the door and told her that Kristeen was at an RA meeting, but Kortney was welcome to hang out. Rashaunna got her a bottled iced tea, and they watched _Brady Bunch_ reruns for two and a half hours until Kortney happened to check her phone.

"It's time for Refuge! Snap. I need to see if my roommate's in our room."

"Aight, take care. It was nice to meet you!" Rashaunna called after her.

"You too! Thanks for the tea!"

Kortney burst into her room. Celine was putting the finishing touches on her hair with her Chi.

"Are you going to Refuge?"

"Yep."

"Wanna walk?"

"Sure. Some girls from third floor are gonna meet us here in a minute." Celine reached for her hairclips.

"Are you interested in going to a Lifehouse concert in Dallas in October?"

"Oh, I heard about that. I think I'm going to the Coldplay concert instead. I'm sorry."

"That's cool. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

Noelle, Tiffany, and Rayne stopped by. "Refuge?"

"Well, I was gonna go with Celine …"

"Oh, you can go with them. I don't mind."

Kortney knew a dismissal when she heard one. "All right. I'll see you later."

She filled them in on the concert details as they walked. Tiffany said she wouldn't be able to make it, and Hayley Anne would likely opt for Coldplay, but Noelle and Rayne were wild about Lifehouse. Kortney texted Mari to see if she wanted to go, and sent a message to Nathaniel to let him know to buy two more tickets.

* * *

"I think Will likes you," said Mari one Wednesday morning at their pre-Comp breakfast.

"Will in our class?"

"Yeah. Isn't his mom your advisor?"

"Yeah, she is. Why do you think he likes me?"

"He always sits by you and makes comments whenever the teacher isn't listening, and picks you to work on exercises with him."

"Well, if he asks for my phone number, I will dub you a prophetess."

That day's topic was absolute phrases. Will had been floundering along all semester, but now he was swiftly shown to be an absolute dunce. Kortney wasn't exactly honors caliber, but she had always had a mean talent for grammar. She had always assumed that that was the reason for Will's attentions. As usual, he petitioned for her help. She did her best, and he seemed to catch on a little by the time class ended.

"Remember, class, our first Exit Exam will be the Wednesday after we return from Fall Break. That will be next Wednesday. I encourage you to complete the practice Exit Exam I've given you, look it over during your time off, and please stop in at my office if you have any questions. Otherwise, I'll see you next week."

"Is it just me, or does his voice remind you of a green olive?" Will asked mischievously as the professor's hard-heeled stride faded down the hall.

"I never would have thought about it like that," Kortney laughed.

"Hey, are you going to the flag football game next Tuesday?"

"What is that, the 12th?"

"Yeah. Rho Sig's playing the Perrin Peelers."

"The _what_?"

He grinned. "Hey, I dunno who named them. Do you wanna go see the beatdown?"

Kortney was dumbfounded. "Uhh … with you?"

"Yeah. The Rho Sigs are all really good. I thought it would be a pretty funny game."

"Yeah, I guess so. I could observe and take notes for my own playing."

"You play flag football?!"

Kortney looked down with a smile. "Yeah. I know I don't look like the type."

"What team are you on?"

"The Wild Wild West."

"I'm gonna have to come watch you play. So will you go?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Cool. Here, give me your number so I can text you when it's time to go. I can drive us down there if you want."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather walk? It's not far."

"No, I'll drive. It'll be hot. I know girls hate sweating."

Kortney vowed to unlock her door and jump out of the car if he did anything creepy, no matter how fast he was going. Of course, she would have her cell phone, too. And she could march into his mom's office anytime and tell on him if necessary. They exchanged phone numbers and bid a casual goodbye. Kortney turned. She saw Mari leaning against a nearby wall and smiling.

"You be quiet."

Mari laughed.

"I can't wait for the concert. Just 9 more days."

"I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun."

"I refuse to feel sorry for you. You're going to Chicago."

"Hey, hanging out with International Club pays off."

"Can you believe how short this month has been? The semester's like a third over."

"I know, it's crazy."

"I'll see you at dinner if you don't mind me sweaty. I've started working out with Chelsea from my flag football team."

"When did you start doing that?"

"Just last week. She taught me how to use the Thighmaster, and I'm showing her some stretches I used to do in dance class to stay limber. I still do 'em every night before bed."

"Wow, that's commitment. I'll see you tonight!"

* * *

Fall Break was a much greater relief than Kortney would have thought possible after little more than a month of school. Four days of hard sleep later, she was back to her normal schedule. It was a chipper Monday morning as she met Mari for breakfast and went about her day. She got a text from Kristeen: "Hall movie nite 2nite n my room! Letters 2 juliet & tons of junk food. Oreo balls!"

Kortney squealed with anticipation. The squeal was followed by a groan as she wondered if she could pull off her Bible Survey paper, which was due Wednesday, if she took time for a movie and possibly more hanging out afterward.

Eh — why not.

"Bam!"

Hands jolted her shoulders. She screamed. Turning around, she saw Will bent over laughing.

"What's up," she said listlessly.

"That was awesome," he croaked. "Hey, are you still coming tomorrow?"

"To the game?"

"Yeah."

"Um, sure. I'm gonna have to bug out right afterward, though. I have a paper to write."

"Aw, don't worry about it. A late paper now and then is good for everybody."

"That's not what your mom says. Are you sure you're her son?"

"How do you know my mom?"

"She teaches my seminar class, and she's my advisor."

Kortney immediately regretted having said that. Will broke into a frightfully wide grin. "No way! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't occur to me, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow." She pivoted and power-walked away.

"I'll pick you up at 4!" he yelled at the back of her head, far too loudly for the short distance between them. _Note to self: do absolutely nothing else with Will,_ Kortney thought. _And tell his mom he's a pest._

On her way to the cardio room, she heard a spirited discourse occurring right around the corner in the Mabee lobby.

"Dude, she totally shafted me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"It was like, as soon as she saw that Joey liked her, she went, forget Logan! And he knew the whole time that she was just playing me!"

"I tried to tell you, she's always been like that. I could talk to her, but you know she'd just laugh at me now that she has what she wants. That's why I tell my freshmen not to date yet. You're not ready for the commitment or the rejection."

"Well, look, tell her — never mind."

"Listen. You have your biggest game tomorrow. Just play off all your anger at Elise, and you might beat those guys."

"I don't care anymore, dude."

"Look, you can't let Shara's girls take you down. You gotta show 'em Seth has tough sons."

Kortney caught herself eavesdropping and realized she'd heard enough. Well, if Logan and Elise were no longer an issue, Celine might be happy — unless Logan took the advice of whoever he was with and swore off dating for a couple of semesters. Too much drama.

That night was better. Kristeen's room was modestly packed. There were mounds of Oreo balls courtesy of the dorm mom's kitchen, and iced tea and Capri-Suns and cheeseburger-flavored Combos. Kortney, Hayley Anne, Tiffany, and Noelle piled onto the one giant beanbag chair in the room and got comfortable.

"Kortney, I can't see. Move your head."

"You're getting hair in my mouth."

"I can't move! Hayley Anne's sitting on me."

"Are you saying something about my weight?"

"Let's just say you need to chill with the Oreo balls."

"Yeah, you had about two dozen."

Smack! "They're good!"

"Mm, your hair is tasty."

"Ugh. That would make me so sick."

"Here, I'll try to scoot over a little."

Someone erupted in giggles. "You just poked me in the belly button!"

The whole room burst into laughter. "Here. Here, I'll —"

"Oww! That's my face!"

"Y'all ready?" announced Rashaunna.

"Move your head!" someone hissed. Tiffany reached back and popped the speaker in the nose. There was a small tussle and more tickling.

"Shhh-shh-hh," laughed Kristeen, who was curled up with a bunch of girls on the futon.

The music swelled, accentuating the parade of Romeo and Juliet paintings on the screen. The opening credits were Kortney's favorite part of the movie. She loved seeing all of the different visions that countless artists had had when contemplating the classic romance. The painting on which her eyes rested the most longingly was of a red-cloaked Romeo kissing Juliet on his way down from her balcony. There was something especially manly, in her mind, about his tilted head and agile stance. Such a hero would make any girl swoon — even if he had an awful name like Romeo.


	5. Date and Switch

"I can't believe I'm going to the game with Will tomorrow," Kortney complained from her bed later that night as Celine applied her facial serum.

"Why not? You need a boyfriend."

"Not Will."

"Well, I still think you should go. You might have fun."

"Don't worry, I'll go. I told him I would." She smacked herself in the forehead. "What a stupid decision that was. I have to think before I get into these jackpots."

"Well, think about _Letters to Juliet_. You might find love anywhere."

" _If_ it's the right one," Kortney reminded her.

Celine climbed into bed with a wink at her roommate and pulled up the covers.

No more than thirty students, perhaps, had turned out for the afternoon's game. According to Will, everyone assumed that the Rho Sigs already had the game in the bag. They dominated the football dorm and the football field. Will spread his blanket on the grass among the spectators. Kortney sat as far from him as she could inconspicuously manage and clutched her water bottle with determination in case he tried to hold her hand or something.

The game kicked off. The Rho Sigs had the careless look of a team about to carry off a shutout. The Perrin guys were fast, though. The champs and their audience began to look surprised. Then the Peelers actually scored. A shriek erupted from the Little Sisses of Rho Sigma. Will poked Kortney.

"What?"

"Check this out." Will had his backpack open and was pulling out his practice Exit Exam.

"I'm enjoying the game!"

"I just want you to look at this real quick."

"After the game."

"I don't have time after the game. I've got a group meeting for Contemp World, and then my friends and I are going to a movie."

"I'm sorry, but I really don't care, especially since you obviously just dragged me out here to do your studying for you."

"I can't pass the test unless you help me. You're the smartest girl in the whole class."

"Thank you, but I really wanna watch the game." There was a collective gasp while Kortney was looking at Will. She shot her eyes over, spotting an enraged Rho Sig player and a freshman daredevil who had just evaded him and scored again. The crowd was buzzing incredulously, with more students arriving to watch.

"I just missed a great play! I really can't go over your test with you right now. Maybe later, ok?"

"Forget it." He jammed the papers back into their pouch. "Give me my blanket."

Kortney was too stung to show it, so she put up a defiant front and swiveled back to watch the players. Will ripped the blanket out from under her and stumped off. Seconds later, his car started. The spectators nearest to her cut half-smiling glances in her direction. She folded her arms around her knees and stared stubbornly at the game. She _would_ enjoy it, and she would _not_ pay any attention to the stabby feeling in her gut.

She watched the freshman who had dodged the Rho Sig. It was the messy-haired kinesiology major. He appeared to anticipate every move a split second before his flags were stolen or he was robbed of the ball. She wished she could play like that. Just from watching his stance and his caution, she picked up a few pointers for herself. It helped her if she thought of every move as a dance step. That way she could remember them.

Needless to say, the Perrin Peelers won the game. The Perrin Peelers. Their ridiculous name still made her giggle, and must be doubly insulting to the Rho Sig team. Kortney stood, wobbly-legged from having sat with her legs crossed for so long. She scanned the crowd for anyone she knew so she could exchange a quick greeting before making the long walk back to get her Bible Survey supplies and begin her research at the library. The thought brought on a mental reprimand for having waited so long to do the paper.

There was Celine. Kortney scuttled to her side.

"Hi!" she squeaked.

"Hey. Where's your hot date?"

"He, uh … left early."

"What?"

"I told him I wasn't gonna do his Comp homework for him. That was all he wanted."

"Oh. Well, that stinks. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Now I have one more good reason not to get suckered into all that dating junk."

Celine stretched to look over Kortney's shoulder. "Oh, come here. I want you to meet Logan."

"Why?" Kortney protested.

"Why?" repeated a guy behind her. "Why not?"

She bit her lip and turned slowly around. "Hi," she said sheepishly. "Are you Logan?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry about that."

"Wasn't he great?" gushed Celine. To Logan: "I'd say you won them the game."

"Well, maybe. Alex has us work on our strategy a lot more than the other teams do." He shook his hair out. Sparkling sweat flew everywhere. As he stood straight again, Kortney asked, "Are you majoring in kinesiology?"

His eyes got big, and he stepped back. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"My group was sitting right next to yours when we were all telling our majors, and I remembered that yours was kinesiology because you had kind of a hard time acting it out. And you had the craziest hair I'd ever seen."

Logan's eyes squeezed shut with laughter. "That's the awesomest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"Your hair is pretty crazy," Celine agreed.

"So how long have you been here? Did you see the whole game?"

"I've been here the whole time, but the guy I was with kept distracting me," Kortney winced.

"He left her without a ride back!" Celine exploded. "Can you believe that?"

"Really. Do you have another ride?"

"Maybe, if my roommate loves me," Kortney coaxed.

Celine pushed her lip out. "I would, but the car I came here in is packed. We're all going out for dinner in a second."

"I can take you back," Logan offered to Kortney.

Kortney waffled. "I dunno." She'd had enough of riding in cars with boys she barely knew. At least she'd been around Will for a month and a half. Logan? Four minutes.

Celine piped up. "I bet one of my friends is going back to the dorm if you want a ride."

"No, it's ok." Logan waved Celine back. "I'm taking a few guys back to Perrin with me. I can just drop you off first."

More people sounded all right. "Sure, I guess."

"Cool. Just hang on, and we'll be outta here in a sec." He jogged over to his teammates.

Kortney turned to Celine, whose gaze was icing her. The chill left as soon as Kortney noticed it.

"Have a good evening," Celine said sweetly. "I'll be back late tonight."

"You too. I'll be writing my paper." Kortney stuck out her tongue. Celine gave one laugh and sashayed off toward her crowd. Kortney twisted her water bottle in her hands, succumbing to that all-too-frequent feeling of being out of place. Whether it was a temptation to self-pity or a signal to be more confident, she didn't know.

"Are you ready to go?" Logan asked. He led the way to his car, where his buddies were waiting.

"You guys played well. I think I picked up some guidelines for my next game," she remarked, sliding into shotgun.

"You play flag football?"

"Yeah, I'm on the Wild Wild West."

He paused. "Well, I'll give you a ride anyway."

"Thanks," she laughed.

"That's a better name than the Perrin Peelers," came a gripe from the back seat.

"Where did that come from, anyway?" inquired Kortney.

Logan chuckled. "It was kind of a play on how _Perrin_ sounds like _pear_ , like we're peeling pears, and our opponents are the pears that we peel …" He glanced at her. "I didn't come up with it."

The stench of boy sweat was filling the vehicle. Kortney rolled her window down a few inches.

"Good idea. Let's do a CDA." He cranked up his volume dial. The scratchy voice coming from the speakers was familiar, but not the song. Kortney was flummoxed. "Who is this?"

"Lifehouse." He lifted the CD case from the console and handed it to her.

"Sweet! I love them." She flipped the case over. "I don't recognize this CD, though."

"This is a pre-record-deal EP. It's really rare."

"Awesome."

He pulled up to the outthrust brick walk where she would get out.

"Did you know they're having a concert in Dallas Thursday night?"

"This Thursday?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you going?"

"Absolutely."

"I'll have to check that out."

"My freshman family group is going. You could ride with us if you want."

"Who are your parents?"

Oops.

"Umm … Nathaniel and Shara."

"Oh."

She giggled. "Sorry."

"Yeah, that might not go over too well with my family."

"Well, if you wanna go … I don't even know where I was going with that."

"If your ride leaves you, you could always ride with me again."

"Right. I think I'll pass on that."

"See ya later," he called as she stepped out of the car.

"Bye!"

Focusing on that Bible Survey paper now would be a real challenge. She forced herself to think of the stone-in-the-gut sensation she would feel if she got a slashed grade because her paper was late, and plowed on toward her dorm room.

"You know Lifehouse is gonna be in Dallas this Thursday," she heard Noelle telling Kristeen.

"Yes, I am so going. My brother Will and I are gonna take a family road trip."

"How old is he?"

"He's a freshman here. You may have seen him; he's really skinny, and he has pale blond hair and brown eyes."

Kortney nearly froze in her tracks. No wonder Will and Kristeen had the same last name. That her self-absorbed suitor should be her RA's little brother was almost too much. She willed herself to keep walking and to hope that Kristeen's brother was a different guy, or at the very least that they would miss each other at the concert.


	6. And the Night Shall Be Filled With Music

"Everyone ready to take off?" Nathaniel asked his carload of children that bright Thursday afternoon. Kortney cheered.

"I like your spirit," said he. "Maybe your siblings will wake up when we get there."

"We're awake!" protested Kylie.

"Ok, just makin' sure. Hey, we only have 5. Where's David?"

"He's riding with his roommate," Steven said.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, I think his name's Logan. He's in Seth's family."

"What's my son doing roomin' with that guy?" Nathaniel asked playfully. "Just kidding. I don't really mind; I think Seth's a decent guy. Just don't tell your mom I said that."

Only Noelle and Rayne had been able to come after all; Tiffany had a chemistry lab and Hayley Anne was headed home for a long weekend since all of her Friday classes were either canceled or out-of-class assignments. The four girls were crammed cozily into the back seat of Nathaniel's crossover. They stopped once for gas and convenient-store pizza, and reached the concert venue long before Shara did.

"Girls. Put them behind the wheel, and they take forever," Nathaniel complained.

"Aren't all of Shara's people going to Coldplay?"

"She's got a couple to drop off here first."

Inside, they found a midway-full room but managed to get some really good side seats close to the stage. The girls sat together, Kortney's friends having bonded with Kylie during the drive. Kortney kept secretly looking around for Logan and David. She realized she was looking rather too often when Noelle asked what she was searching for and offered the lame reply that she wondered where the rest of their party was. Speaking of that, she wondered whom Shara was dropping off.

Will and Kristeen entered the hall and gazed around like children at a carnival. Kortney's fears were confirmed. It was the same Will. She knew she ought to say something, but she did _not_ want him anywhere near her.

"Look, they're here!" announced Noelle. She whipped out her phone to send Kristeen a text. Kortney sighed and leaned back. Good little Noelle, doing what Kortney herself ought to have done. The siblings spotted them a moment later and hurried up through the swirling audience. "You made it!" Noelle enthused.

"Not a minute too soon, it looks like. The seats are almost full," observed Kristeen.

"Maybe if we let you guys sit here, and Nathaniel and Steven move down —"

The seating arrangements turned into a momentary circus, with the two chairs saved for David and Logan constantly shifting among the group. Kortney wound up on the end of a row, with the again-ingratiating Will beside her, and her friends three seats away. She huffed and grew very busy with reading all fourteen texts in her inbox. Repeatedly. Anything to discourage Will.

A couple of them went out to browse merch. Kortney always did that during the opening act when everyone was packed into the auditorium, given the usual badness of opening acts. She was hoping, too, that she could slip out under Will's radar.

"Hey, I'm sorry I left you at the game. That was a jerk thing to do."

"Don't worry about it," Kortney mumbled.

"Do you mind if I come watch your game tomorrow night?"

"Sure, if you want to."

The lights went down. As was typical of concert preludes, everyone screamed. Kortney could only join in with half her voice. The opening act was introduced — some bluegrassy grunge band from West Texas — and Kortney felt an overwhelming desire to escape to the restroom. She went, more out of anxiety than need, and wandered over to the merch tables for a minute even though she had no spare money for souvenirs. Rayne was stuck between two t-shirts and would not be advised; she was indulging in the kind of indecision that everyone finds more annoying than amusing. Kortney shook her head and left her buddy to come to a choice on her own. She pushed the hall door back open and glided down the aisle. If only she could sit in one of the chairs that Nathaniel was saving for the latecomers and have the displaced one slip up beside Will, without his realizing that she had been back from the bathroom the whole time.

She gently slapped herself. That was wicked. He wasn't evil, just really annoying. It _might_ be easier for her to put up with him were he not so determined; but then, where would be the spiritual exercise in an easy situation? That thought gave her the backbone to go back and sit beside him. She would be kind; but he _would_ not hold her hand. Rounding her chair and about to slip into it, Kortney was stopped short by a tap. She looked over her shoulder. Logan and David were there. "Are we late to the party?" asked Logan.

Kortney was all smiles. "I don't think so." David pulled Logan aside to introduce him to Nathaniel, who received him graciously. They asked each other who should sit in which seat. Logan picked the one right behind Kortney. At whiles during the music, he would lean forward and speak to her about far-flung things that were all connected just loosely enough to form a skeleton of a conversation.

"Bold of you to infiltrate an outing with _my_ family," she intoned. "Especially considering your dad and my mom kind of hate each other."

"I shoulda worn one of those masked-ball masks to complete the effect," he retorted.

Kortney laughed. "Yeah, one of those manly ones with glittery curlicues around the eyes."

"Really, though, I don't think they hate each other. I think her accident was his fault somehow, and she's still mad at him, and he feels bad about it, but he's too scared to talk to her."

"Is that what he told you? Because she never talks about it."

"My RA told me. He used to be Seth's roommate, and he was there when everything happened."

Will noticed their chumminess and got more and more impatient to regain Kortney's attention. The flannel cowboys finally went away, but Will kept up his blather in Kortney's ear. The emcee directed the audience's attention to some ad video. Peeking back, Kortney saw that Logan was gone — hopefully only to the bathroom or the merch table.

The room went coal black. The crowd hollered. They kept hollering until they all got the idea at once that maybe if they were quiet, they would hear what was happening. The noise shrank and faded. Kortney heard someone sneeze and saw a few phone screens flickering around the room. Scattered nervous chuckles bubbled up. Nothing happened. An AT&T cell phone rang and people laughed.

"Come on!" yelled some guy.

Drumsticks. _Click. Click. Click-click-click-click._

 _"All night, staring at the ceiling, counting,…"_

Frantic cheering drowned out the next several lines, but Kortney sang her heart out as if the words were posted in front of her. The lights flared on and swept upward to illuminate the musicians banging away on their instruments, the lead singer giving it everything he had. Presently, fans poured out of the rows into a jumping, head-bobbing pool before the stage. It looked like fun.

Something tugged at her elbow. Logan had materialized again. He jerked his head toward the dancing crowd and held out his hand, inviting Kortney to come. She hesitated. She might be willing to go up there and act the fool with her girlfriends, but with Logan? Craning her neck, she spied Rayne, Noelle, and Kylie worming their way out of the other end of the row. If she acted now, she might be able to join them. Energetically, Kortney nodded to Logan and ran toward the front, laughing the whole way. Better to let out all her energy while she had enough nerve to.

 _"And I'm all in!_

 _Nothin' left to hide, I've fallen_

 _Harder than a landslide, I spent_

 _A week away from you last night_

 _And I'm callin'_

 _Callin' out your name, even_

 _If I lose the game, I'm all in_

 _I'm all in tonight_

 _And I'm all in, I'm all in for life …"_

"Are you gonna ride back with Logan and David?" asked Noelle over their hamburgers at the post-concert dinner stop.

"I don't think so," Kortney sighed.

"Why not? I think he really likes you."

"Yeah, that's the reason." Kortney nodded toward Shara, who was at a table full of her Coldplay mates. "If Will has anything to do with it, she'll find out whose family Logan's in. I don't imagine she'll be too upset with David, since he's his roommate, but me … she might get really nasty if I started spending time with him. And Seth might not be too happy, either."

"Does Logan care?" questioned Rayne.

"About what?"

"If he makes people mad by hanging out with you."

"I don't know that either. He might be cool with whatever people say about him, or he might be really insecure and pretend like he doesn't know me just to make his family happy. I can't stake too much on what he may or may not be thinking right now."

They were silent.

"Besides, I think I'm gonna stay away from him for a while, at least until after Thanksgiving."

"Good grief, can I have him then?" said Kylie.

"Sure, why not?" Kortney chuckled. "I just want some time to clear my head, and to find out what he's thinking, too. He may not be interested in me at all. If he is, I need for him to say it and for me to know what answer I'm gonna give if he does say something."

"Um, … a yes?"

"Maybe."

"This isn't because of Nathaniel's no-dating thing, is it?"

"It's the opinion of a lot of people that I know. If they all agree that freshman dating is dangerous to your future relationships, your self-control, and your potential friendship with the person that you may eventually hate when you break up, should I ignore them just because I think he's cute?"

Noelle put down her sandwich and applauded. Nathaniel looked around, noticed, and started clapping too — very loudly.

"Amen! Whoo! What are we clapping for?" he yelled.

"Nothing, Dad," yelled Kylie. In an undertone she added, "Well, if he doesn't want you, tell me."

Kortney was true to her word. She did not seek Logan out or attend any more of his games. It was hard to resist searching the crowd of spectators at her games to see if he had come to watch her play, but she never saw him. Her suspicion that he had only been playing around and never really interested in her got stronger. If Celine had known this, she might have had more peace of mind. She was still a bit miffed at Kortney for being the object of Logan's attentions, now that his non-relationship with Elise was history.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving break arrived. Kortney had survived her classes only by constantly checking the time to see how much longer each lecture would last. The instant she and her tablemates finished dinner that night, she was out the side door of the caf so she could start packing her things for the trip home the next day. Celine had cooled down sufficiently to agree to give Kortney a ride to the airport for her flight to Wisconsin.

Kortney opened the window so she wouldn't feel quite so closed in and packed her belongings in silence. She had left her warm sweaters and things in her bureau at home, knowing she wouldn't need them in this humidity and planning to bring them back with her after Thanksgiving. Just some pairs of jeans and essential items and her toiletry bag went into the duffel. Her backpack housed her netbook and the few books she wanted to bring on the plane — the Bible and journal and a new book she hadn't finished. She packed her movies too in case her little brothers wanted a 500th round of _National Treasure,_ _Rookie of the Year,_ _Spider-Man,_ or _Transformers_. Was that everything? Laundry could wait until she got back. Knickknacks like the pictures and whiteboard could stay. The appliances obviously couldn't come. Her house already had bathroom cleaner, disposable dishes, and desk supplies. The cell phone would be in her pocket. So would the iPod. On a whim, she packed her craft supplies. She really couldn't think of anything else.

There was a little time left for goofing around before she hit the sack. The open window looked so inviting. Night zephyrs in November were very pleasant here, not storm blasts loaded with snow like back home. She texted Celine.

"Can i sit on your bed? I wanna look at the stars."

Celine was prompt, as usual.

"Haha sure"

Kortney started the netbook, wiggled up onto Celine's bed (situated high for the storage bins underneath), and made herself comfortable among the pillows. Might as well see what was new on Facebook. There were few better ways to kill time. If only the screen were not _so_ very small. In the news … her friend Brendan back home had a new puppy. Grandma Miller had bruised her hipbone but was healing splendidly. The Fray was preparing for their new tour. Kortney started to check the itinerary, but reminded herself that she didn't have much more spending money and ought to be saving it for shampoo and such.

A faraway sound filtered in through the window screen.

" _The broken clock is a comfort_

 _It helps me sleep tonight…"_

Kortney looked around on the ground, but nobody was down there. Maybe one of the cars in the parking lot had its radio up. Safety would get to them eventually.

A dark shape framed in the lit window across from hers drew her eyes. It was a boy, waving. Kortney recoiled a little. Of course, at that distance, he couldn't see into her bedroom. She held up her hands and shrugged. He pointed at her, but down. She looked at her netbook and saw a new message.

 _are you enjoying the music?_ from Logan.

 _is that you in the window?_

 _ye_

 _yeah it's cool. what's up?_

 _ready to go home_

 _me too_

 _where are you headed?_

 _segowlee falls, wisconsin_

 _holy cow. not as far as me though_

Kortney clicked over to his profile.

 _sortings, pennsylvania?_

 _creeper_

She giggled.

c _an we chat? it would be faster_

 _actually i was gonna go to bed soon. maybe we can talk after thanksgiving_

 _i really wanna talk to you now if it's ok. wondering why you havent really talked to me since the concert. did i offend you?_

 _no not at all, just trying to focus on homework & stuff_

 _it's been weird not seeing you_

 _i'm sorry_

 _i turned on the music when i saw you in the window bc i thought it might get your attention so i could find out if something was wrong._

 _i see. nothing's wrong, but thanks for asking_

A pause.

 _i know you like lifehouse. do you like this?_

Kortney listened hard.

 _"I found God_

 _On the corner of First and Amistad …"_

 _the fray! yes!_

 _shawn mcdonald?_

 _hmm, haven't listened to him as much_

 _how do you feel about harder rock?_

 _red_

 _sweet. i saw them in philadelphia_

 _cheesesteak_

 _i hate cheese_

 _dude, me too_

 _i actually hate all dairy products. i don't like ice cream …_

 _THANK YOU! i thought i was the only one. everyone acts like i'm so weird_

 _i know what that's like_

 _do you like sherbet?_

 _yeah what's your favorite?_

 _lemon_

 _lime_

 _ha. second favorite._

That was the gist of the conversation. A couple of Fray songs had played when Brian showed up in Logan's room.

 _he's making me turn the music down_

Kortney grinned. She could see Logan in a glum slouch as he typed that. She hopped off the bed to bring over her iPod dock.

 _hello?_

Lifehouse's "Everything" started playing. She cranked it up to top volume, thankful it was a soft song.

 _:)_

 _to answer your question, ffball is the only sport i've played — besides youth group dodgeball_

 _were you not a sports kid?_

 _no, i danced_

 _how long?_

 _11 years_

 _dude_

 _yeah, i wish i still did._

 _why don't you?_

 _i just never got back into it, and i'm kinda past the age when you can jump back in cold and be any good_

 _are you sure?_

 _i've never heard of anyone coming back after being way out of practice, except michael jackson, and he died. i think i'm past my prime._

 _so you're ok with english ed?_

 _it's not awful. too early to tell, though_

 _maybe you should try dancing. just cause no one does it doesn't mean you can't_

 _we don't have a dance program_

Rashaunna opened the door. "Girl, if I was you, I'd turn that thing down. I don't mind it, but some of the other girls are complainin', and Kristeen's on her way up here."

"Oh, thank you." Kortney shut the music off and ferried the dock back to its spot.

 _what happened to the tunes_

 _ra was on her way_

 _oh. those ras spoil everything ;)_

 _ikr_

 _do you really love to dance?_

 _well … i did_

 _if you love it, you should do it._

 _even if i have to go somewhere else?_

 _maybe …_

 _oh you wanna get rid of me. i understand_

 _yes i do. i can't take the competition of someone as cool as you so nearby_

Kortney, startled, didn't reply.

 _sorry?_

 _oh no, it's fine. i didn't know you thought i was cool._

 _yeah dude_

 _well, i should turn in. i have a flight out at 9 tomorrow_

 _want a ride?_

 _celine's taking me, but thanks_

 _ok. watch this_

Kortney looked toward the window but saw nothing. Her screen blinked, and she saw that he had just sent a new message. It was a YouTube link. She looked at his window again. He was still there, but according to Facebook he had logged off. Wondering what had made him leave before she could tell him what she thought of the video, she clicked the link.

She had time for just one thought: he might have sent her something offensive after setting her up with all the sweet talk and then logged off before he had to hear the fallout. She poised the mouse over the X button in case that was what she found.

YouTube was persnickety on the campus network. Kortney heard the audio before the picture caught up to it.

 _"What day is it_

 _And in what month?_

 _This clock never seemed so alive."_

Her eyes widened.

 _"I can't keep up_

 _And I can't back down_

 _I've been losing so much time ..."_

She swayed a little as she watched the video. "You and Me" was her favorite love song. How did he know?

A better question: what was she supposed to do about it?


	7. Kristalltag

Celine pulled onto campus one week later with Kortney slumped in the passenger seat. Having both sets of grandparents and three sets of uncles, aunts, and cousins visiting made Thanksgiving break even more exhausting than college. Maybe she'd get some rest over Christmas.

They stopped in the 15-minute parking lot. It was already crowded with girls unloading their cars, toting suitcases and laundry baskets full of their junk inside

"Do you want any help?"

"No thanks," Kortney said. "You have more than I do. If I get done first, I'll come help you."

As Celine scuttled off with her first basketful, Kortney shouldered her backpack and grabbed her rolling suitcase, deliberately avoiding the heavy bag of sweaters and coats. She wondered for the millionth time what Logan's deal was. He had only messaged her once during the break to say "Happy Thanksgiving," and when she didn't pursue the conversation, neither did he.

She thumped back down the stairs, groaning to emphasize her dread of the sweater bag. She was just dragging it out of the car when a "hey" stopped her cold. Kortney pulled her head back out of the car and smiled casually. "Hi, Logan."

"Do you need help?"

"Sure. This bag is super heavy."

He grabbed the handles and lifted it with a grunt. "Good grief! What have you got in here?"

"Sweaters, and jackets, and an overcoat, and other warm things," Kortney rambled dreamily. She carried a less heavy box and led the way into the building.

"How was your break?"

"Busy. Most of my extended family showed up. I'm still tired." They entered the second floor. "Man in the hall!" she yelled.

"I _am_ allowed to be in here, right?"

"Yeah, if you're just helping me carry stuff." Kortney paused. "I think I should have told our dorm mom, though."

She edged open the door, suddenly afraid that Celine would see Logan helping Kortney rather than her and get icily jealous again. She was gone, thankfully. Kortney heard her roommate's laugh floating somewhere down the hall.

"Where should I put your bag?"

"Oh, just anywhere. Let's go."

They walked back to the car.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You told me before the break that you weren't mad at me about anything, but you're still being quiet, like girls are when they're mad."

"I guess I'm still just really tired. I should take a nap after I unpack."

He rubbed his chin. "I was pretty busy over the break too. Didn't even have time to shave."

"Well, it is No Shave November. It seems to have a positive effect."

 _Did I just say that?_ shrieked her mind.

Logan's face spread into an interested smile. "That's a nice thing to say."

"Logan!" yelled a boy from the parking lot up the hill. "Oh, you're with one of Shara's girls. Have you made out yet?" Kortney, visibly embarrassed, leaned deeper than necessary into Celine's trunk to pull out her bag of shoes. Logan came around the car and stood nearby without replying to the boy. "Sorry about that," he said. "That's my team captain Alex. He's one of Seth's friends, and he hates Shara because of their whole fight. It's nothing against you."

"That's good to know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Would you carry this?"

Logan held the lamp she gave him gingerly. "Is this glass?"

"Yeah. My mom and my aunts gave it to me."

"Sure _you_ don't wanna carry it?"

"Oh, but it's heavy. And I've got two other bags."

"Ok, if you trust me."

"Don't trust him. He's just trying to get you alone," goaded the insolent Alex, who had come much closer as they were talking.

Logan turned to face him. "Shut up."

"Did you really just tell me to shut up?"

"Alex, there's no reason to be a jerk to her."

"Ok, Romeo, sheesh. Sorry."

"She's not my girlfriend. Go be an idiot somewhere else."

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

"I'd say you're being an idiot right now, yes."

"Would you call me an idiot if I kicked you off our team?"

"No, I think I'd just call you a _ at that point."

Kortney winced.

"You'd better shut up."

"If _you_ had shut up when I told you to—"

Alex threw him backward. Logan, having lacked the foresight to put the lamp down at the first sign of a confrontation, tripped over the curb and tumbled down the steep staircase toward the lowest terrace of the parking lot. The lamp flew out of his hands.

Kortney wanted to run over and check on Logan and her lamp, which she heard shattering. She wanted to run from Alex as fast as she could and take shelter behind the nearest Safety guard. Instead she stood motionless by the car, trembling.

Logan's head appeared. He was limping up the stairs. A chunk of glass from Kortney's former lamp was clenched in his hand. There was a terrible expression on his face.

"Oh, what? What?" Alex held his hands out defiantly.

Logan swore again, swinging the glass shard in his fist at Alex. It missed his face but cut his neck. Alex roared and charged at him. Kortney knew (though she wished she didn't) that if Logan went down those stairs headfirst with Alex on top of him, his neck could easily be broken.

Somehow people had gotten wind of this. Girls gathered, twittering, with looks of horrified enjoyment. A Safety truck was pulling into the upper lot. Joey, the boy Elise had preferred over Logan, ran up and grabbed Alex's arms.

"Man, what's your problem?" he yelled in Alex's ear. Alex turned on him and pinned him to the pavement, bending his arm back at an impossible angle. The Safety guys yanked the three boys apart and hauled them all away without much ceremony. Kortney walked over to the stairs and looked down at her lamp. Pieces of it lay scattered all over the hill. She bent her forehead to the metal rail.

* * *

Footsteps padded into Kortney's dim room as she sat at her desk with her forehead on her arms.

"We're sorry about your lamp," said Noelle. Kortney had picked it up alone as the girls from the dorm stood above and watched. She was becoming quite the campus scandal.

"We would have helped if we'd known."

The lamp had cost nearly five hundred dollars. Her mom and three aunts had bought it as a surprise for graduation, but it had arrived abominably late and ended up being a Thanksgiving present.

"Alex got in a lot more trouble than Logan did, if that helps any," Rayne offered.

It was a limited edition piece from the best glassblowing studio in Madison.

"I don't care," Kortney heard herself say. Her voice was dead. She could feel her friends looking at her and each other helplessly. She lifted her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little traumatized right now."

They all nodded. "I would be too," said Tiffany.

"Do you want us to stay?" asked Hayley Anne.

"If you want to."

She knew they were forming an unspoken consensus to flee.

"We'll go ahead and leave you alone, but call us the minute you want us, ok?"

"Ok."

She trudged over to her bed and curled up under the covers. Unpacking could wait.

* * *

Logan intercepted Kortney as she was returning from a late lunch and he was headed out to a soccer game.

"I'm really sorry about your lamp—"

"Don't worry about it."

He got in front of her.

"Talk to me. What was wrong before we got in the fight?"

"You act like you like me, but you won't just come out and say it!" she blurted.

A couple of upperclassmen passing by raised their eyebrows in amusement.

"I wasn't sure how you'd take it if I said … that I did."

Kortney took a deep breath. "You do, then?"

"I'm actually not sure. I mean, yes, but … I'm not sure how much." He scratched his hairline. The way he did it reminded Kortney of a monkey. "I mean, I'm not sure how."

"Not being able to quantify it doesn't give you an excuse to dance around it."

He turned his head a little, slightly perturbed.

"We can't even let our freshman families know that we talk as much as we do," she pointed out. "That's just sick."

Logan opened his mouth to protest. She cut him off.

"And what's even sicker is that I'm the one putting all this out in the open instead of you! You won't step up!"

He looked openly angry now. Kortney withered. She was terrified of angry people guys. They tended to yell.

His neck tightened. Finally he said, "Fine," and stalked down the hill toward the soccer fields, forgetting that he had meant to drive. Kortney watched him. Somehow, she had just experienced her first breakup without even having been on a real date. Nathaniel's words drifted up from her memory, taunting her.

 _"This is why you don't date while you're freshmen, kids ..."_


	8. Hot and Cold

Avoiding Logan was easier than ever after that. Kortney went on with her homework and flag football practices, without a heart for any of it. She especially dreaded the phone call when she would have to tell her mom and aunts that the lamp was broken. Her friends kindly refrained from alluding to the past unpleasantries once she told them very plainly where things now stood. That is, they refrained until the morning when Alex's tires were found slashed. Most people blamed Logan, a few suspected Joey, and one or two pointed at Kortney. It was a mess. No one was officially accused, but Kortney still dreaded seeing the dean for a long time.

"Do you wanna go to Refuge with me?" Celine asked one Thursday night. Kortney, finished with her homework, was lying on her bed.

"Sure." Kortney rolled to her feet and grabbed her wallet and Bible. She could use the music, if nothing else. They made pleasant chatter as they drove, but Kortney could only devote half of her mind to it because she was busy wondering if Logan would be there. She began to regret having come. She and Celine sat in the middle section of the sanctuary, near the front. _I will not look for him. I will not look for him,_ Kortney vowed. She turned around every five seconds to see if he had come in. A quote from _The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_ came to mind: "If there's a wasp in the room I like to be able to see it." (Spoken by Edmund upon Eustace's dragonization.)

The band kicked up. Kortney only knew a couple of the songs, but the song set was refreshingly long. She stood there and read the words for the greater part of it. She almost nodded off during the message and had to jerk herself awake. It was about Philippians, she knew that much. Getting to know God through suffering. She wondered if that included self-inflicted suffering—like letting one's head be turned by a boy's attentions.

"Dear God, let me learn from this," she murmured during the prayer time. "Stay with me. I'm sorry I got into this."

Delicious peace caressed her spirit. It was so gentle, so undeserved, that she nearly cried. She stood serenely and gathered her things as the band played the exit music, feeling ready to face anything with composure. Even Logan. But it was still a relief not to see him.

"Wanna come to Taco Bell? A bunch of us are going."

It was very tempting, but Kortney had barely enough money to buy a taco; not to mention that she was exhausted.

"I think I just wanna go back to the room," she told Celine. "I'd like to finish that book I started back in … October, I think."

"Sure, I can drop you off."

Kortney climbed the steps to her room, not sorry to be alone. As she was about to settle in with the book, she thought it might be nice to have some mint hot chocolate for company. That would be free with her student ID card. Oh, the joys of college. She slipped on her coat again and jogged across campus to the commons. The Starbucks was tucked down beside the cafeteria, half a story below the ground. Quite a cozy location for a coffee shop.

"A grande mint hot chocolate, please," she told the barista. She pulled a thin straw from its receptacle and unwrapped it as she waited.

The lady set the cup down. "$4.72." One brown drop trickled from beneath the lid. Kortney fumbled with her wallet, trying to fish out the ID card so she could hand it to the cashier and have a free hand to wipe the cup before the dribble reached the countertop. She had no idea why the matter seemed so urgent.

"Here, I got it."

Kortney looked up, and quickly looked back down again. Logan handed the lady his card and jammed his hands in his pockets for the whole four seconds it took her to swipe it.

"Y'all have a great night," she said and retired to the back.

Kortney licked her thumb clean of the offending drop of chocolate. "It's really … um, thanks," she bumbled. She wrapped her fingers around the hot cup with scientific precision.

"Did you not see me at Refuge?"

"No, I didn't know you were there."

He nodded and shoved his hands down into his pockets again. He tilted his head toward the drink. "You're welcome."

She looked down at it and smiled awkwardly. "I got it to drink while I read."

Both of them made uncertain, jerky movements toward the door without really moving. Kortney finally took the first step. He held the door open as they walked out.

Hunched against the cold, they strode down the covered sidewalk together. Kortney braced herself and asked, "Did you slash Alex's tires?"

Logan looked at her. "No."

"You didn't."

"No."

"Even though he got you in trouble?"

"If I had slashed his tires, it would have been because he made me break your lamp. But I swear to you I didn't."

Kortney sighed.

He walked quietly. When he spoke, he was determined, but he couldn't look at her.

"I like you enough not to care if my freshman family makes fun of me. I don't even have to go to their stupid meetings. Everyone tells me nobody keeps up with those things after Christmas anyway."

"You'll still get made fun of."

"I don't really care."

Kortney felt a stupid grin coming on. "Me neither." She risked a look at Logan from above the rim of her cup as she sipped. He had the same expression, which made them both look immediately down and back up again.

"I mean, I don't care if _I_ get made fun of. I don't want _you_ to get made fun of—"

He laughed. "Calm down, ok?"

They crossed the street in companionable silence. As they descended the stairs to the door, she felt Logan's hand warming her shoulder. The tiny bit of pressure through the thick jacket was more than enough to stave off the nip in the air.

"So is this it?" he asked. "Are we Facebook official?"

"Hmm." Sip. "Yeah … I think so. We might not want to actually put it on there, though."

He put his arm all the way around her shoulders and squeezed. "And to heck with our freshman families."

"Don't say that," Kortney giggled. "Just Seth and Shara."

"Fact. Maybe someday they'll get over it."

Kortney peered around the corner leading to the dorm door. None of the dreaded awkward couples loitered there tonight. Come to think of it … tonight might be her turn.

"Whoo. I'd love to stay and talk, but it's cold out here. I'll see you tomorrow, though, all right?"

"Do you want to eat lunch?"

"Yeah. I'll text you."

"Oh, I don't have your number. And my phone's upstairs."

"That's ok, I have mine." He fished in his pocket. "Maybe I don't."

Kortney laughed. "Just meet me outside the caf at 11:50 and we can exchange numbers then."

"Cool."

"Thanks for the hot chocolate."

"You're welcome. I hoped it would pacify you enough that I could ask you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm glad it worked." He looked down and scratched the back of his neck. Kortney giggled and bent sideways to see if he was blushing. "Well, I'm glad you asked."

He smiled and looked away again. Kortney hauled up her wallet to pull out her ID card and unlock the doors. Before she could step in, he touched the side of her head, then quickly brought her to him and kissed her hair. "See you tomorrow," and he was around the corner instantly.

Kortney was so surprised that she let the door swing shut again as she stood there. Then she turned and quickly let herself back in. Purple mist swirled in her peripheral vision as she climbed the stairs—an effect of blood rushing in, she recalled dimly. Once she was safe in her room, she slung her jacket off and let it fly across the tiny space, grinning as it hit the wall and crumpled on the floor. Everything made her smile.

She hoped she could handle herself.

* * *

"You're going to the formal dinner, aren't you, Kortney?"

Kortney looked up from her Uno hand. "Oh … no, I don't think so."

"That's what everyone keeps saying. A couple girls have told me that they would like to go, but they're scared to go by themselves, and all their guy friends are already taken."

Kortney heard several girls mumble assent to Shara's observation. Secretly she growled. She had already been asked by the irrepressible Will. Apparently, seeing her eat lunch with Logan almost every single day wasn't a big enough hint for him. She had flatly declined, of course. Logan couldn't go because he had marching-band practice.

"So I was thinking we should make it a family outing. Nathaniel's activities haven't really exposed us to much …" she glanced down at the stack of Uno cards on the table, " … culture. And our family seems to be shrinking."

"That hurts me, wife. At least I still come."

"Yeah, and we play Uno and eat Doritos. Maybe more of our children would show up if we made our outings a little more exciting."

"All of our daughters would show up for something like this. I'm not sure about our sons."

"If we remind them how much better the food will be than caf lasagna, they'll come."

"You mean you want me to pitch it to them."

"If you don't mind. I tell you what. I'll buy everyone's tickets at once so we can all sit together, and you guys only have to pay me $10. I'll pick up the rest. That should get them to come, don't you think, husband?"

"I quite agree with you, dear. Bingo!"

"Uno."

"That's what I meant!"

"You still have to draw two."

Kortney mulled over this new development. Sure, why not. She only had one paper due before the weekend, and a little extra money to blow on a nice non-caf dinner. She would just have to make sure Celine came, to tell her how to keep from looking like a dork.

"Yeah, for sure!" Celine said as she brushed her hair that night. "My boyfriend and I are going anyway, but we can sit with you guys. He and Steven are best friends, so that should make him happy."

"Cool. Yes, I would like a non-mass-produced dinner for once."

"And you're always getting onto _me_ for complaining about caf food?"

"Well … I have my limits, too."

Celine laughed. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

Exactly 72 hours later, Kortney lay spread out on her bed with her skirt rumpled beneath her and her makeup smeared all over her face. The quiet was suddenly broken by a rash of energetic knocking at her door.

Not now. Kortney lay very still, noiseless.

"Celine, are you in there? Are you in the bathroom?"

"Try the doorknob."

Kortney's eyes expanded in horror. The door wasn't locked.

"I'm not trying the doorknob! What if she's naked?"

Several girls laughed. "Celine, are you naked?"

"I don't think she's in there, guys."

"What's going on?" asked a new, approaching voice.

"We're seeing if Celine wants to come with us."

"She went to dinner with her dad, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Oh well. Let's go."

Stiletto footsteps clicked away and died down the stairs. Kortney buried her face in her arms again. Five seconds later came another knock; Rashaunna's customary five quick taps and delayed sixth one.

"Kortney, babe, are you still in there?"

She pondered whether or not she should respond.

"I haven't seen you since you got back from the dinner, and you looked kinda upset then. I wasn't gonna say anything while those girls were here, but I just wanted to make sure you're ok." Pause. "I guess you're not in there. Ain't that just like me, talkin' to a door."

Kortney threw the door open and slumped against the doorjamb.

"There you are! Man, you don't look too good. Come on to my room and I'll make you some cider. Kristeen's gone right now."

Kortney grabbed her keys and scurried past Rashaunna, reaching her room before she did. She was far from ready for public viewing.

"Girl, you look like you've just seen Armageddon," quipped Rashaunna as she closed the door behind them. "That's what my grandma always says to me when I'm having a bad day."

Kortney sat tentatively on one of Kristeen's hollow ottomans and tried to smile. Rashaunna placed a box of Kleenex strategically between her seat and Kortney's and went to heat some water in the coffeepot. "Get out a couple coffee cups for me."

 _Kortney clutched a couple coffee cups crammed with coconut custard_ , improvised her brain. Their latest Comp I lesson had covered basic poetic devices, including alliteration. She shook her head and set the mugs down by the sink. Rashaunna poured and stirred the drinks in silence.

"All right now. Sit down, and tell me what's wrong."

"Well, Celine was supposed to come to the dinner with me and tell me what to do so I wouldn't look like an idiot, cause she's done these things before, but her dad came to town for business and wanted to take her to dinner up there tonight. So I had to go by myself. She did help me with my makeup and stuff, and told me which side of the plate to get my first fork from, and when to sit down and stuff like that — and she told me my outfit was fine, but when I got there, everyone was way more dressed up than I was." A tear fell into Kortney's cup. She set it aside and reached for a Kleenex. "That part wasn't so bad. I thought, ok, I can deal with this; I've been underdressed before; so I found my family and sat with them. Shara told me she was saving the seat next to me. Then Will showed up, and I told him the seat was saved — and then Shara told me—" her voice rose to a near scream "—that she was saving the seat for _him_! Of course, he was a total jerk, and he flirted very loudly the entire time, and everyone at the tables around us was looking — and I couldn't just get up and leave, cause that would have been even more awkward. So I had to sit there and try to make him keep it down — and as soon as it was over I got up to leave, but Will wanted to 'escort me out,' and I said no and left, and he freaking _chased_ me out of the building — and the worst part was that all my friends went to Burger Barn tonight, and I could have gone with them if I hadn't gone to that stupid dinner! Actually," she took a breath, "that isn't the worst part. When I got back to my room, I had a text from Logan, and it said — hang on, let me find it. It says, 'I heard you and Will had a good time tonight.'" She slapped her phone down onto the nearby futon. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Now, I thought you and Logan were kinda ... together."

"Well," she wiped her eyes and paused to laugh, "we've never technically been on a date. We just sorta think of ourselves as a couple, but it confuses people when they see us together and then they go on Facebook and we aren't listed as being in a relationship. It's kinda weird. We just both know that the groups we hang out with don't like each other."

"So you're together in secret, but not really."

"Yeah."

"You better drink that cider so you don't throw it at me when I say what I'm about to say."

Kortney lowered the cup, which she had been about to lift. "Go ahead."

"This is not a good idea. I think you need to either go public or break up."

"Why?"

"Cause you need other people to keep you accountable; and cause you don't want any more people tryin' to set you up with Will."

"Yeah, that didn't end well, did it?"

"You gotta stop keeping this in the shadows. Anything you have to hide isn't worth doing."

"It's just hard, cause I really do like Nathaniel and Shara … well, him more than her right now, but I like our family, and I like my flag football team (which hates Logan's team cause they're doing so well in the boys' division), and I don't wanna cause this huge upheaval just for the sake of a … a freshman relationship."

"If all it is is a freshman relationship, why are you so desperate to hang on to it?"

"Well, cause he's … pretty great," with a nervous laugh.

"Well, I can't tell you what to do, girl. You gotta work this out in your own mind. Just ask the Lord if you're bringing this on yourself, and if he wants you to maybe do something about it."

"Good idea." She gulped her cider and nearly choked on it.

"Don't die, now. I ain't in no hurry. You just take as long as you want, and use some more tissues if you need to."

Kortney meekly sipped down the rest of it, silently praying for guidance in crafting a response to Logan's barbed text message. Rashaunna sat by her and kindly rubbed her shoulder until she was done. Then, quietly, Kortney drifted back down the white hall to her own desolate room.


	9. Is It Secret? (Is It Safe?)

Due to a project meeting, Kortney and Logan couldn't meet as usual for lunch the next day; and after that came the weekend. Logan had promised to go to the lake with his buddies on Saturday. Kortney thought he was crazy for going at such a time of year. The snarky message she sent him about it struck him as critical, partly due to her still-wounded pride and partly to his. Their electronic banter ended rather disappointingly.

Chelsea leaned over to Kortney during church that weekend and whispered that what she was about to tell her was not to be repeated. The Wild Wild West was poised to win the women's division of flag football for that semester. If they did, there would be a secret game between them and the victor of the men's division, since the official brackets stopped with gender. Whoever won the secret game would be the _un_ official flag football champions of the whole school.

Kortney thought that sounded cool, but one memory stopped her cold.

 _Shara gestured resignedly to her wheelchair, explaining, "I was playing against some boys, which was a stupid decision. As long as you stay on the field with girls, you should be fine."_

"Where will it be?" she inquired.

"We don't know yet. I'll keep you posted."

Kortney sat back against the pew. Her stomach felt like it was about to grow into one giant, flapping butterfly.

Cafeteria selections that day included exceptionally good cheesy scrambled eggs, along with tater tots that were actually soft and fresh out of the grease. Kortney opted for this breakfast-food lunch and steered toward a table with a couple of her teammates and a couple of her siblings. Seeing Nathaniel set down his tray there was another pleasant surprise. She would probably be laughing too hard to eat.

Passing the salad bar, she saw Mari out of the corner of her eye at the International Club table. Something resembling conscience stung her as she walked on. She hadn't had much time for Mari outside of Comp I lately; and though Kortney's friends had been cordial to Mari, she had never really fit into their circle. Kortney thought about changing courses and sitting with her instead.

Nah. It had been a long week. She didn't have enough functioning brain cells left to sort out the foreign students' thickly accented tangle of mixed metaphors.

* * *

The Wild Wild West won their division. They went straight from the field to Sonic, where they debated the design of their victory T-shirts over ice cream and mozzarella sticks.

"So, have we decided on pink?" asked Kristeen.

"Absolutely not," said Bristen. "Pink is a sissy color. Sissies do not dominate flag football."

"Well, we can get back to the base color later. We've all agreed that we're going with a cowboy theme, so do we want something similar to our team shirts?"

"I think it should have a more vintage Western look," Kortney said. "You know, like a worn-out pair of jeans. Not as cartoony as our team shirts."

The art major in Sam kicked on. Her eyes almost started to glow. "We need a faded brown background," she envisioned, "with some green cross-hatching along one side and running onto the sleeve, and our team name in playbill letters opposite that, and on the back a picture of a cowboy hat on a dirt road or a desert somewhere."

"That could work," said Kristeen. Kortney sucked at her Butterfinger Blast and nodded. _This is your school-supplies money going in the tank,_ said her common sense, but she quashed it. It wasn't every day that you won an intramural tournament at college.

"So," said Celine, "if that's settled, I'm outta here. I need a shower, like, right now."

* * *

Back at her room, Kortney found two emails: an assignment due at midnight that she had forgotten about, and a good-luck wish for the secret game from Hayley Anne.

Logan's team had won the men's playoffs.

Kortney sat staring at the screen and wondered if she could really go out on a field and play against him. Not a field, a parking lot. The game was going to be in a lot used for overflow football parking, since that was one of the only places where light could be had at night without asking Security to turn it on. This game was apparently "allowed," per se, as long as it was unofficial; but Kortney knew the administration frowned on boys and girls playing such a rough sport together. Their disapproval was actually the impetus for most of the players to participate. Fences seemed to make everything on the other side more appealing in some people's eyes. Kortney had never understood that way of thinking, but no way was she going to be left out.


	10. Consequences

"Kortney?"

There was no reply.

"Are you awake?"

A low moan came from behind the drawn curtain. "Mom?"

"I'm right here, sweetheart." Kortney's mother hurried in, thanking the nurse as she took a seat next to Kortney's bed. "They told me you're not too bad."

"Yeah. I just have to wear a back brace for three months, but hopefully my spine will still be straight when it comes off."

"Oh, honey, what happened? You were playing some kind of game?"

"Yeah. It was so stupid."

"Tell me what happened."

"Okay, you know I was playing flag football. I got through the season with no problem, and my team did so well that we beat all the other girls' teams. I told you about that."

"Right."

"Well, then, there's kind of a tradition that the winning girls' team plays the winning boys' team, and whoever wins that game is the champion of the whole school."

"You didn't tell me that part when you signed up!"

"I didn't know! They only told me after we had won our division."

"Who is 'they'?"

"The other girls."

Her mom sighed. "So you agreed to play an extremely violent game, against boys."

"It's not that violent, Mom. There's no tackling. You just try to swipe the other players' flags and get the football away from them."

"Where are these flags?"

"On your belt."

"So you didn't have young men tackling you. They were just grabbing at your waist. That makes everything better."

"Please, Mom …"

"Why did you even play this game?"

"Well … I wanted to win. And I didn't wanna be left out."

Her mom pressed her lips together and looked up. "So then what happened?"

"Well, we were losing pretty bad. I figured I had to help the team out, cause they all said I was such a good player, and it seemed like it would really … boost our morale if I scored against Logan, since he was the best player on the boys' team."

"Now, Logan is the young man that you said seemed to show some interest in you?"

"He kinda asked me to be his girlfriend, actually."

"And you decided it was a good idea to play a contact sport against him, without telling me anything!"

Kortney sighed. "Things have been kinda weird between us lately. He thought I was flirting with another boy behind his back, when it was really just that annoying twerp who won't leave me alone. We never could seem to meet up for lunch or anything, and both of us were getting frustrated about it, and our Freshman Family Groups hate each other, and our flag football teams were competing in the biggest game of the whole season, which also happened to be a secret game, cause the administration doesn't really like it; and I guess I was in a snarky mood. I just really wanted to beat _him_. Then he could come crawling back to me and say he was sorry for thinking I was flirting with another guy — who also happens to be someone I can't stand — and then we'd be okay again, and we'd have a real-life relationship. That's what I thought."

"And what happened?"

"I dunno exactly. I think when I went for Logan, all his teammates got around him to protect him from having the ball stolen. Everyone was in the same place at once, and our feet got all tangled up cause we were all trying to run in a huge group. I tripped and tried to do a ninja roll out of the way, and some guy landed on top of me right as I was rolling over my neck. Then someone else landed funny on him right as I was getting free. It really hurt. I got this weird buzzing in the back of my head when I tried to move."

"You broke your back for football," her mom mused. "And for a boy."

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm sorry."

"Well, I guess there's nothing you can do now but recuperate, and hope you can walk again."

"I think I'll be able to. And I've almost started making a decision while I'm here."

"What's that?"

"If I can move around again like normal, which the doctor said is very likely, I wanna transfer out."

"You've had it with the rich kids?"

"No, it's not the people. I'm really gonna miss my friends. Mari came to see me, actually. But I'd like to go to a school with a dance program."

"Baby, you haven't danced in years."

"I've kept up my practicing, though. It's like a hope that won't go away, that I'll be able to take dance again. I don't know of anyone off the top of my head who's actually come back after this long, but I'm sure it can be done. I'd like to try it."

Her mom stroked her hair. "And if you don't make it professionally?"

"I'll still minor in education, so in case it doesn't work, I'll still have something I can do. Maybe I could be a ballet teacher." Kortney's eyes were lighting up at the vision.

"Sounds like you've got a plan. Just heal up first. Dad and I are gonna have to think about this. You realize we don't trust your judgment much right now."

Kortney closed her eyes. "Yes ma'am."

* * *

Logan plunked down onto the slatted metal bench and ruffled his hair. The guys had won, of course. They won every year. No matter how many female quarterbacks Disney tried to push at its TV audience, football was still a man's sport. Guys were just bigger.

"How ya doin'?" asked Nathaniel, coming to sit beside him.

"Well, life basically stinks right now."

"I bet. Seth and Shara —"

"They told me."

"You and Kortney hadn't been fighting like they had, though, right?"

"Almost. I thought she was two-timing me."

"You really thought Kortney would do something like that?"

"I didn't know! She said she'd never had a boyfriend before. I didn't know how she would handle liking two guys at once, if that was what was going on. When you're that naïve …"

"It's the naïve girls that are more likely to stay true to you. It's the ones that have had way too many boyfriends that know how to date more than one guy without the other one knowing about it. They're the ones that would enjoy it, too. Believe me, Kortney would feel too guilty to do it."

Logan smiled. "Yeah, she would."

"Have you gone to see her?"

"No. Have you?"

"Nah. That might look a little sketchy. But if you're still going out, you should."

"Dude, you don't know how much of a douchebag I was."

"How much?"

"We both wanted to win so bad, and we were so ticked off at each other …" Logan looked down and fiddled with his water bottle. "I tripped her. That's why she broke her back."

Nathaniel didn't say anything. Logan got up and walked away.

* * *

"Should we go see her?" asked Rayne.

"Yeah, I feel like we should."

"Kristeen went tonight. We can go tomorrow," suggested Noelle.

"Has Logan gone?" asked Tiffany.

"I don't know. Nobody's seen him since he talked to the dean. He's in a lot of trouble. Somebody said it was his fault that Kortney got hurt."

"People are such rumormongers," Rayne complained. "You know they only said that because he and Kortney weren't getting along right at the moment. Everybody loves to make a scandal out of nothing."

"Look, there's Mari," said Hayley Anne.

The girls crowded the doorway to ask if Mari had seen her.

"Yes, I went yesterday. When I was coming in just now, Logan asked me what her room number at the hospital was."

They stared at each other. "Maybe he's going," Noelle said.

* * *

Logan stepped up to the entrance of the ICU, stepped back, and scratched his neck nervously. He looked around. A nurse came up and asked him who he was there to see. He told her Kortney's name. A woman instantly jumped up from a waiting chair and came over. "I'm Kortney's mother," she said.

Logan could actually feel himself starting to sweat, but he held out his hand. "Hi. I'm Logan."

"I see."

"I came to tell Kortney I'm sorry for what happened to her, so I was wondering if I could see her, maybe."

"She's about to be airlifted out for surgery. I'm afraid you can't."

"Oh, well, can I call her, or anything?"

"She won't be using her phone around all the equipment, but I can tell her you came."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

Kortney's mom turned to leave.

"Will she … be back at school anytime soon?"

"Actually, no. She told me today she wants to transfer out."

"Oh. You mean permanently?"

"Yes."

His head sank. _What sloppy hair,_ Kortney's mom thought disapprovingly. _It would be best if she never saw this young punk again._

"Well," Logan sighed, "please tell her I said goodbye."

Kortney's mom nodded grimly and watched him leave. As soon as he was gone she hurried to her laptop. There was a change or two that it might be best to make to Kortney's Facebook before her daughter got back online.

* * *

"Mom?" Kortney asked when she returned.

"Hmm?"

"I wish Logan would come."

"Why's that?"

"I wanna tell him I'm sorry for all the drama. I guess I can understand why he would be jealous if all he heard was that I was flirting with another guy. I didn't need to get as mad as I did. That probably only made it look more suspicious."

"Well," her mom sighed, "you can't use your cell phone because it might disturb the equipment, but I guess if he comes you can see him."

Kortney secretly hoped her mom would be out of the room when he came, so he would kiss her on the forehead again.


	11. Exeunt

After his suspension and requirement by the administration to pay Kortney's insurance deductible, Logan could no longer afford his tuition. He found a state school in Pennsylvania with a widely respected soccer team and a much lower cost to attend, and he told his friends he'd be transferring there. People's looks were starting to be too much.

Nor was it a pleasant surprise to find that Kortney had deleted him as a friend and would no longer show up in the list of results when he searched for her. If that was how she felt, he figured, there was nothing he could do. One fit of rage left her number erased from his phone and all the Lifehouse songs gone from his iTunes. After that, it was time to move on.

The recruiter for the school Kortney had chosen almost laughed when Kortney walked into her interview in a back brace with a plan to major in dance. She was sure she had made absolutely no sense in any of her answers to the man's questions, and the dance instructor who recommended her hadn't taught her in four years; but by some miracle, she got in. She was a little rusty on some of her jumps and spins, so her first class was a bit of a struggle. After several sessions, the instructress kindly remarked that Kortney was by far _not_ the best dancer at the school, but she was talented.

After a night out for coffee with some of her new friends from the community college where she was taking the education classes for her minor, Kortney opened her netbook to chill for a couple of hours before going to bed. She had a new Facebook message from Shara. They had been talking quite a bit ever since Kortney's accident. Kortney looked at Shara's profile picture and smiled. Seth was pretending to tip Shara out of her chair and into the ravine. Right in the middle of her personal information were the words, "In a Relationship with Seth Montaigne."

 _i'm so glad you and seth worked things out,_ Kortney typed after the obligatory sentence or two on how she was doing.

 _You have no idea how glad I am. I just wish it hadn't taken two years and a wheelchair._

 _i bet_

 _Have you heard from Logan?_

 _nope. i can't find him on here. i think he might have me blocked, and he doesn't answer my texts_

 _I'm so sorry. Do you have any idea why?_

 _nope. but maybe it'll be ok anyway_

 _It will. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it all comes around eventually._

 _romans 8:28, right?_

 _Yeah, that's it._

 _thanks a lot :) i'm gonna head to bed now_

 _Sweet dreams_

Kortney turned out the light and set her iPod to play some relaxing music while she fell asleep. The first song that thrummed from the earphones was "Everything." Sighing, she reached over to skip the song, but her hand stopped before it reached the click wheel. She rolled back and listened. A tear escaped her eye, but it soothed her, too. With one more quick prayer that everything would eventually be set right in her heart, Kortney drifted off.

* * *

Logan leaned against a greasy black streetlight pole, more than a little drunk, and having just bought a leather jacket that was way too expensive but made him feel tough. If only the polo-shirt boys at his old school could see him now …

A little further down the block was a store playing music in an attempt to lure in late-night customers. Logan tilted his head when he thought he recognized the melody.

 _" … and not be moved by you?_

 _And you tell me, how could it be_

 _Any better than this?"_

 _There's a lotta ––'n ways it could be better,_ he thought bitterly. Looking up at the sky, he saw a menacing black thunderhead swallow up the last star as rain began to fall.


End file.
